


Fun and Murders

by Superheronerd_1



Category: Saints Row
Genre: Alternate FBI world, Best Friends, Fluff, Fun, Gen, kind of they're getting there, some murder but not descriptions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-26
Updated: 2017-04-26
Packaged: 2018-10-24 08:07:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10737603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Superheronerd_1/pseuds/Superheronerd_1
Summary: Johnny didn't know how he knew this beat up kid, but the more she went on about killing people the more comfortable he got.





	Fun and Murders

There was no way the kid should be calling to post her own bail, much less be smoking in the middle of the police station. But then again, Stilwater is a fucked up place.

Johnny leaned back in his chair, hands playing with the safe lock on his gun. “How old are you?’ he asked after minutes of watching her. 

She looked over the cancer stick, bags under her eyes getting covered by smoke. She had eyes that reminded him of a hearth, all warm and shit. It was weird, because frankly the bitch had a demeanor of “Come near me and I'll slit your throat.”

Choppy hair, cloths covered in not-her blood, bruise and cuts all over her body. If he didn't see her slam Officer Kendrick's head on the interrogation table and then proceed to watch her pull out a knife from her bra or whatever and throw it at some yellow jacket fuck he would think she was in an abusive situation. 

But something knew that she wasn't, or at least not anymore. It could be the videos and bodies piled up on her record, her blowing this and hat up while killing this guy and that.

She angled the smoke at him and turned away, watching the doors from the open area down below. Her foot was shaking up and down but Johnny didn't think it was from any drugs off the street. 

He's was intrigued by her simply from the matter of fucks she doesn't seem to give. Blood underneath her fingernails, scars that looked like cross stitching disasters and the fact that she wouldn't answer anyone about the notorious Saints. Or, really, just wouldn't answer anyone about anything.

Johnny could only guess how many people she's killed but it's not like he could judge from the amount of bodies he's accumulated during the job so far. 

She hissed suddenly, and Johnny watched as she dropped the stick on the floor. Her finger was rapidly turning red but she just shook them. 

She slumped and turned towards him, as if Johnny was supposed to entertain her.

Johnny stared back trying to think of something intimidating to say. Instead he just glared. “What, you expect me to be your entertainment?”

He said it with venom he reserved for hardened criminals but the little shit just raised her eyebrow.

It was another moment of staring at each other when she sighed and turned towards his desk as best as she could being chained to the chair by the left arm. It wasn't anything special on the surface, some of his research of those known with the Vice Kings, bullets, and Freckle Bitches wrappers. 

She reached over and placed a finger on Tanya, a short hair women who shot him in the knee. Technically, she ordered it but either way Johnny now had a brace the size of Texas on his leg. 

He leaned forward. “Friend of yours?”

She made a disgusted face and shook her head, glancing around the area. 

No one was near them, either too afraid she was going to shoot them or just didn't care. Johnny often got the interesting criminals simply because he wouldn't hesitate to put a bullet in their heads and he wasn't afraid. 

After making sure that no one was close she leaned forward and placed her hand fully on Tanya. With intense eyes she stared right at Johnny and even smiled a bit. “Hope your friends she fucked don't mind hepatitis.”

Johnny raised his eyebrows.”What?”

“You know, hepatitis. One of the gross ones.” 

It took a moment for him to get it but when he did Johnny smiled. He leaned back and down at the station. Dozens of cops, always talking about this whore and even went as so far as to contaminate any evidence he had on her. 

He looked back at the kid across from him, grinning. “You serious?”

“Trust me. You kick her in the vagina and you lose a shoe.”

A surprised laugh busted out of Johnny and he relaxed in his chair, throwing out a hand to her. “So, what else can you tell me about the Vice Kings if you ain't willing to share about the Saints.”

“Doesn't King buy you guys out?”

“Not that I know of.” he tilted his head. “Does he?”

Truth be told Johnny wouldn't be surprised. One of the worst things about the Stilwater police, easily corrupted. Then again, he joined just so he could kill so who was he to judge. 

He never claimed to be a good cop but he wasn't corrupted. 

He let out a defeated breath. “Yeah, he probably does.”

She shrugged her shoulder. “Sorry you weren't invited.”

“What, being paid off to allow murderers run off into the sunset? Yeah, sounds like a party.”

It was unsettling the way she stared at him. “I'm a murderer, and in a few minutes I'm going to back on the street. You gonna come and shot me Officer-" She snagged her hand around until she flipped his name plate "Gat?”

It struck him. It was true, she wasn't a quiet killer. She didn't try to hide her face from security cameras, didn't care who knew. She had quite a few hits on her and more then once did Johnny hear about this kid who fucked up this and that. 

The guy undercover in the Saints (Tony or Brony, maybe Pete) talked about her like she was the second coming of Jesus, claiming that she was why the Saints were rapidly gaining turf. The way the guy talked about her Johnny was expecting something more than a child looking killer.

But she never shot pedestrians, not like Rollerz. Didn't keep people in contracts and wasn't selling hard heroin to 13 year olds. 

“Nah, you ain't my case. Just too scary for anyone else to babysit.” He leered at her over his glasses. “Do you actually need a babysitter tho?”

“Are you fucking kidding me.” she leaned back in bed seat, looking away while cursing. “Fucking chipmunk cheeks.”

Johnny grinned. She did have that cute face younger kids always had, like she never grew out of it.

“So how old are ya?”

“Why, trying to see if I'll fuck my way out? Last one to offer that to me I shoved my gun in his mouth.” she snickered. "Said he liked face-sitting."

“Fuck no.” Johnny's grin disappeared, face scrunching. “I'm not that kind of person.”

"Face-sitting?"

"Fucking christ, I mean screwing people to let them off. Not off, but go."

She reached over for Johnny's water bottle. “Well you're just a white knight.”

Johnny watched as she gulped down his bottle. He would have to throw it out so no one could get her fingerprints. 

He bent back over his desk, shifted so his bum knee could stretch. “So what else about the VK?”

“Tanya is a whore, Ben King is fucked (I actually think he’s posting my bail), and the records building is destroyed by yours truly. Your welcome, by the way. Knew you guys wanted it gone. “ She tossed the bottle in his trash can. “I should be a cop.”

Johnny stared at her then reached into his desk, shifting throw newspapers until a few weeks ago. Pulling it he skimmed over the article about Kingdom be destroyed. 

Adding on that, apparently, pop super-star Aisha was killed during the wreckage. 

Funny how she was back at his place, probably cleaning all the wrappers and bitching about the beer stench engraved in his walls. 

Matter of fact, she was talking to Johnny about faking her own death about a month ago, saying. she found a guy to help. He just thought the records blowing was the perfect excuse.

“Along with her?”

"You have to be more specific. I've killed a lot of her's."

"Aisha." He held up the paper clipping.

“What? Oh yeah. I mean yes. Sorry if you liked her.” She suddenly became interested in the scratches on Johnny's desk. 

Johnny smiled. Kid couldn't lie for shit. Wait till he gets home and tells Aisha how he meet her murderer.

But he decided to play with the kid first. He leaned back, folding the paper down. “Shame. She had really good music.”

“You know, sacrifices had to be made. I hope she you know, understands.” She looked over to the clock. 

“But I thought the Saints didn't kill innocent people.”

“We don't.” She whipped her head right back at Johnny, then probably realized that she slipped. “Well, most don’t.But casualties happen everyday. Know how much easier it is to drive on the sidewalk then the road?”

Of course this kid is the Murderer of Sidewalks. Two cases solved. Johnny should demand a raise. “I could charge you with her murder right now.”

“There's a lot of murders you could charge me with if you guys actually did your job properly. Just another name at the end of my gun.”

Johnny was having a little fun. She couldn’t act for shit, sounding all fake and exaggerated. Not highly intimidating if you ask him.

But he wanted to see how else she’ll slip. “Is that how you did it? Blew her up, or were you nice and put a bullet in her head first.”

She raised an eyebrow. “You want to hear about how I killed a multi-million platinum artist?”

Johnny shrugged. “Gets boring around here. You seemed to live a lot more then I have. So how bout you tell me about her?”

He could see her trying to figure out if it was a trap or not. Honestly she seemed distressed about it. 

She a kid and being charged with everything in the book, yet lying was making her nervous. Johnny resentfully respected her for it.

“No, no wait.” Johnny leaned forward, beckoning her to do the same. “Listen, I know the truth. And I gotta say, thank you.”

“What?” She slammed backwards into her chair, rocking back so hard she banged her head on the metal divider between desks.

He winced as the sound of skull and solid wall met, reaching down to his mini-fridge to grab an ice pack, handing it over. She took it, staring at him wearily.

She held it to the back of her head. “What truth? I killed her. Blew her up. And yes, in fact, I did put a bullet in her head before hand.”

If she didn't say it so forcefully, Johnny might have believed it. But even if Eesh was at his place he knew that the kid in front of him didn't harm one hair on Eeshs head.

Johnny shook his head. “No, you didn't, unless there's a zombie at home bitching about my stale beer.”

He thought he was gonna have to call a ambulance, she didn't say anything for so long. Then her face split in a wide grin, pearly whites showing. “You're Johnny!”

“Uh, yeah. Told you that earlier.”

She shook her head. “No, you didn't but that's not the point. She talked about you, said you were crazy as fuck and was gonna die early from all the grease how consumed.” 

She scooted her chair out a little then looked under the desk. “Yeah, she told me about that. Sorry. If it helps I was the one killed the fucked who did it. I think.” Popped back up. “I've killed a lot of people.”

Johnny was puzzled. After a beat he asked “She say anything else? Anything good?”

“If I was a cop we would have made great friends. You and me, not me and her. Although she is nice.” she shrugged. “I think I'm great, and I don't make a lot of friends.”

He smiled softly, picturing the kid across from him in a uniform. “I'm sure.”

“Might as well be, since I'm doing your guys job and all that. I mean, you guys can’t even find someone that blows shit up for a living.” She raised an eyebrow. “And it’s not like I’m hiding anywhere special.”

“You keep saying that you’re doing my job, but I don't hear any reason why you would believe that.” He leaned on his forearms. “Wanna tell me why you think that?”

“The fact that I got the Rollerz and Los Carnales off the streets. That I'm the reason why the Saints actually have a name and, oh, I blew up a evil corporation.” She slammed her fist on the table. “But the Vice Kings, man, they're fucking me over.”

Johnny sat and steered this over. It was a stretch that this girl was the reason why Rollerz are in prison and why the drug market suddenly had a drastic decline. 

Yet he believed every word. “I could arrest you right now, charge you with everything.”

“But you won't. Partly because King is the one giving me bail, and because the city would implode if I left now.”

They sat and stared at each other, both stone faces. 

Johnny wax the first to break, smiling. He reached into his pocket and brought out a casing of cigarettes and and offered it to her. 

She smiled and grabbed one. “You see, if you gave me this in the first place I wouldn't have had to expand all that effort on talking. Can you uh, light this for me?”

He leaned over, lighter flickering. As she took a deep breath Johnny asked “Why you working with King?”

“Why you get shot in the knee? The game’s changing and I’m going to be on top of it.”

“How do you figure?”

But she smiled and made an eyebrow jumped. “Sorry buddy, conversation gets to stop.” and she pointed downwards.

Through the glass (surprisingly not bullet proof) and fake trees, Johnny scanned the open reception area and saw him. 

Black, kind of overweight and had an air of authority over him. Julius Little, the leaders of the Saints. Used to be on the back burner of the precept but every since the new girl showed up he’s been wanted. Even Hudgens got in on it (rumor has it there was a secret meeting between the gang leader and the running mayor).

Absolute dread washed over Johnny as he watched Julius glance up and reach her eyes. He nodded at her and continued to go to the room to probably post her bail. 

Johnny didn't trust him, and he didn't know why. Something like Deja Vu came over him, a bunch of painful memories that he didn't have trying to warn him. 

Johnny looked to the girl who was smiling a little and still smoking. 

He should let it go. Who cares if this bitch gets shot in the middle of the street, would make the work load easier. “Don't trust him.”

He liked her anyways.

“The fuck you say?” she tapped her cig in his ashtray.

Johnny pointed down. “Little. There's something, something about him. Don't trust him.”

She laughed. “What, cause he's a gang leader or he killed a bunch of people.”

“Neither. It's just-” Johnny stood up and started to run of his hands through his hair as he paced. “I feel like he's going to do something to you.”

Now that he said out loud all he can think of were fires. Fires and pain and an overwhelming sense of being desperate. Why did he feel this, he didn't know. 

But seeing Julius and her in the same room, his stomach did a sick tumble. He wanted to shoot Julius where he stood, but he wasn’t Johnny’s to kill.

He went back in front of her and unlocked her from the chair, grabbing her shoulder and standing up. 

She shook his hand off of her. “What do you mean don't trust him?”

He stared at her, not knowing what to say. There shook his head. “Nothing, never mind.”

Johnny stared down at his files. Of course he and duplicates of all of them at his place, and it would be pain in the ass to lug these back down to the security room. 

She didn't have a sweater or anything to hide these under so he walked over to his neighbors cube and grabbed the one hanging off the hook (making the costly mistake of turning his back on a known criminal) and handed it to her. “Put this on.”

“Why?”

“Because your tits aren't big enough to hide this under.” he grabbed the loose paperwork and pictures, stuffing them in the manilla file. It was a shit job and chances are something got ripped but be shoved it towards her just as she popped both arms through.

Her hands were stained dark brown from gunpowder and nails were split down the middle but she didn't leave any prints on the folder. He gestured for her to hurry and hide it in the sweater he got for her. 

“Why?” she asked, putting the folder into her shirt and tucking it into her waistband.

Why? How the fuck should he know. Same intuition that Little was going to fuck this kid over, same intuition that knew she was right, and the city would implode without her here getting it back on track. One gang is better than 3 fighting each other and this kid show up a few months ago and suddenly gang violence has gone down.

Johnny shook his head. “I'm probably doing the best thing to get these fuckers off the street. And I doubt you'll be able to get anything.”

She made a face but didn't deny it. “Is this one of those things that's going to be used to blackmail me, because I don't have anything to hide and I won't hesitate to put a bullet in you. Aisha’s boy or not.”

Johnny resisted the urge to roll his eyes but he pointed to stairs. “No, I can assure you that. Go meet one of the officers downstairs in regards of your court date trial.”

“Yeah, I’m not going to court.”

“Then you won’t be able to walk out of here.”

“You mean i won’t be able to walk out of here without a trail of bodies following me.”

“You don’t have a weapon.”

“Fuck I need a weapon for? I meant killing, not blowing this place up.” She sighed. “But wouldn’t that be grand.”

“I always thought blowing up City Hall would be fun.” Johnny commented. Wasn’t sure why, she needed to get out of here and the fact that this everyone’s number one top criminal. But the department is letting her out on fucking bail instead of taking her right to prison.

What was it Hugens said? “Be patient with catching her, she’s doing you all a service really.”

But she looked and nodded, eyes softening. “That would be cool.”

(A few days later when there was a man-made explosive found in one of the back of the town hall stairwells, Johnny didn’t comment)


End file.
